Domestic Violence in VA in 2002
52,449 hotline calls-- up 17% from previous year
148,774 hours of advocacy services for adults
76, 855 hours of advocacy services for children
9,902 hours of legal services
163,343 nights of emergency shelter services
Sadly 1,169 families were turned away for emergency shelter due to funding and space
Domestic Violence in VA is 2012
67,380 hotline calls-- up 4% from previous year
178,334 hours of advocacy services for adults
74,539 hours of advocacy services for children
9,500 hours of legal services for non sexual domestic violence crimes (data unavailable for sexual domestic violence)
198,274 night of emergency shelter services
Sadly 3,486 were turned away for emergency shelter due to funding and space
No I couldn't find accurate information of number of crimes specifically in each of those years, but based on these numbers alone, it appears it certainly has NOT declined.
Some more scary statistics:
- Nearly 1.3 million women and about 835,000 men are assaulted by their partner every year in the United States
- On average, 24 people per minute are victims of rape, physical violence or stalking by an intimate partner in the United States — more than 12 million women and men over the course of a year.
- 1 in 4 women (24.3%) and 1 in 7 men (13.8%) aged 18 and older in the United States have been the victim of severe physical violence by an intimate partner in their lifetime
- Nearly half of all women and men in the United States have experienced psychological aggression by an intimate partner in their lifetime (48.4% and 48.8%, respectively)
- Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women—more than car accidents, muggings, and rapes combined.
- Studies suggest that up to 10 million children witness some form of domestic violence annually.
- Everyday in the US, more than three women are murdered by their husbands or boyfriends.
- Men who as children witnessed their parents’ domestic violence were twice as likely to abuse their own wives than sons of nonviolent parents.
#1 FACT:
Most domestic violence incidents are never reported.
All of this to say, this
continues to be a huge issue in our communities. I watched it hit our
local area to the point of murder 9 times in just over a year. Of the 9
murder trials already scheduled in my area (over approx 40 miles- 4
localities) 7 could be considered that of domestic violence and that
doesn't include the two most recent one not yet booked- both of which
are domestic violence, or any I am failing to remember.
It has hit close to home watching my best friend's family grieve the loss of a daughter in law and a sister in law. She was shot, murdered, by her on again-off again boyfriend; father of her youngest child (age 6) heartlessly while both her boys (6 and 14) were just one room over. It isn't my place to give any further details, but I can only imagine that their last imagine of mom is a heated argument they could likely hear and then a BANG and a bleeding, dying, dead mom on the floor/bed and all the horror that follows that- police, funerals, court dates, absence of both parents- one due to death the other prison.
I am one year younger than the brilliant, beautiful mom and victim I saw in that casket, with her gorgeous locks of hair curled, surrounding her lifeless body. What makes us different? Had I chosen another partner, Had I accepted a bad situation, had I hoped things would get better, had life handed me a different deck of cards and I had hoped it would change rather than forcing a change, That too could be me. I don't personally know that victim well. I don't know what warning signs she may or may not have faced. I don't know what warning signs her friends or family may have seen or heard about.
I have heard vague details of another friend's experience of dating abuse-domestic violence. For her I couldn't be more thrilled. For her she hit her rock bottom before it was too late. Her family welcomed her back with open arms. She worked her way back up financially and eventually emotionally, which took the longest amount of healing time. Now 3.5 years later she has a normal and blessed life. God and church are a big role in her life, a new husband, a baby on the way, continuing support from her family, a first home, and best of all full custody of the child she shares with her abuser. That child gets to enjoy life abuse free, not seeing Mommy as a victim and not becoming a victim. I get so excited for her everyday when I see her facebook update on her happy, safe life. It's been quite the journey for her, and it's amazing to see where you can go if you take those steps to escape for good, forever.
I hope tragic stories like that of Jenny, don't end with just a death. Awareness is created and hopefully girls in abusive situations can see the very real possibility of where allowing an abusive relationship to continue can lead: no where, a grave, heart break to your family and friends.
If you feel you are in danger- LEAVE! If you need to talk to someone, call the domestic abuse hotline or visit their website: they have a ton of info and a chat feature to get in contact with someone who can help you
National Domestic Abuse Hotline
1−800−799−7233 or TTY 1−800−787−3224.
Ask a friend you can trust for help, call the police, Regardless don't accept the abuse. It will NOT get better by staying.
Don't become another deadly statistic.
In addition as a friend, You too need to know the warning signs! You need to be the victim's voice if they are too scared to get help. Can you imagine the guilt you'd have to live with if you knew someone was in danger and you didn't do everything you could-- and then it was too late, like in Jenny's case. All the tears, all the memories, all the wondering- Too late! If you know someone in danger, get them help, you can report it, even if they haven't/won't.
I am one year younger than the brilliant, beautiful mom and victim I saw in that casket, with her gorgeous locks of hair curled, surrounding her lifeless body. What makes us different? Had I chosen another partner, Had I accepted a bad situation, had I hoped things would get better, had life handed me a different deck of cards and I had hoped it would change rather than forcing a change, That too could be me. I don't personally know that victim well. I don't know what warning signs she may or may not have faced. I don't know what warning signs her friends or family may have seen or heard about.
I have heard vague details of another friend's experience of dating abuse-domestic violence. For her I couldn't be more thrilled. For her she hit her rock bottom before it was too late. Her family welcomed her back with open arms. She worked her way back up financially and eventually emotionally, which took the longest amount of healing time. Now 3.5 years later she has a normal and blessed life. God and church are a big role in her life, a new husband, a baby on the way, continuing support from her family, a first home, and best of all full custody of the child she shares with her abuser. That child gets to enjoy life abuse free, not seeing Mommy as a victim and not becoming a victim. I get so excited for her everyday when I see her facebook update on her happy, safe life. It's been quite the journey for her, and it's amazing to see where you can go if you take those steps to escape for good, forever.
I hope tragic stories like that of Jenny, don't end with just a death. Awareness is created and hopefully girls in abusive situations can see the very real possibility of where allowing an abusive relationship to continue can lead: no where, a grave, heart break to your family and friends.
If you feel you are in danger- LEAVE! If you need to talk to someone, call the domestic abuse hotline or visit their website: they have a ton of info and a chat feature to get in contact with someone who can help you
National Domestic Abuse Hotline
1−800−799−7233 or TTY 1−800−787−3224.
Ask a friend you can trust for help, call the police, Regardless don't accept the abuse. It will NOT get better by staying.
Don't become another deadly statistic.
In addition as a friend, You too need to know the warning signs! You need to be the victim's voice if they are too scared to get help. Can you imagine the guilt you'd have to live with if you knew someone was in danger and you didn't do everything you could-- and then it was too late, like in Jenny's case. All the tears, all the memories, all the wondering- Too late! If you know someone in danger, get them help, you can report it, even if they haven't/won't.
COMMON WARNING SIGNS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
The following list can help you determine whether you or someone you care about is
involved in an abusive relationship. Not all of these characteristics need to be present
for a relationship to be abusive, and characteristics by themselves do not necessarily
indicate abuse.
A relationship may be abusive if your partner...
•Feels he/she has the right to dictate your behavior, privileges, or responses and
opinions
•Demonstrates ownership of you or extreme possessiveness; says things like “I can’t
live without you,” or “You are my whole world.”
•Blames you for her/his problems or behavior
•Isolates you–doesn’t allow you to see your family or friends
•Needs to constantly know your whereabouts; expects you to spend all of your free time with him/her
•Humiliates you in public
•Forces you to have sex or perform sexual acts
•Insists on controlling all of the money, both your and his/hers
•Refuses to let you go to work or, at the other extreme, forces you to work
•Has no regard for your physical or mental health
•Criticizes your appearance, weight, clothes, etc.
•Pressures you to live together or get married before you are ready
•Angers easily
•Becomes angry when you have a different opinion than he/she does or don’t take
his/her advice
•Shows jealousy toward your children, family, friends or job
•Suggests reasons for you to fear ending the relationship
Dual personality (Jekyll and Hyde), i.e., charming in public, aggressive in private
•Displays violent behavior toward other people
•Disregards the law; feels he/she is above the law
•Doesn’t want you to know about his/her past
•Blames all past relationship problems on the ex-partner
•Has a record or history of domestic violence
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