My only disappointment as a teen parent was my kids would never have cousins close in age nearby. I highly cherish my childhood memories all filled with my WV cousins.
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| Zach and I and our 3 WV cousins: Tricia, Amanda and Davey |
Although I have 26 siblings thanks to foster care It seemed the ones with kids in my kids age range weren't close by or weren't as connected to us... more like fb friends. Initially Anthony had two close girl cousins, but as time, and work, and college, and life combined one he has no memories of and the other was a constant for the first 4 year then mostly absent for the next 4. Thankfully she's been back as a constant for several years now but Anthony isn't very social so isn't super close- but Jayna sure is which is perfect, just how it should be.
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| cousin Kierra (And Skylar too!) in the early years |
My kids are blessed to have the same close memories with their PA cousins as I have with my WV ones. All their earliest memories will include their cousins. Both my kids and her kids.
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| Cousins in the early years(Hunter, Parker, Tucker and Carter-- and Uncles Joe and Mark) |
Hands down every year Anthony and Jayna's favorite times are those spent in Pennsylvania with their cousins. Neither age or gender has actually effected their bonds. My oldest is nearing 13, so 4 AND 2 years younger than my sister's older boys. Then Jayna is 2 and 4 years older than her younger 2 boys. Their biggest wish every year, every holiday, every birthday and every summer is to go visit more.now.frequently. I adore they have this. I wish we were closer in distance, but it's just not meant to be. So we happily accept every moment we can get and try to fill in the space with texts, facebook and even some online gaming for our gamers.
Locally the kids have a relatively small circle of friends that are more like family than friends and for that I am thankful. However it still isn't the same as cousins, these kids moms aren't their aunts and dads aren't their uncles. I do attempt to do a fun activity with the circle prior to holidays with them but again it is just a play date with close friends.
And then our family dynamic changed; really changed. My kids had both a big and little sister. They bonded and loved like siblings... and fussed a bit too! And it grew a bit more to a family of 8 that the average joe wouldn't understand. And that was ok, it was our family and how it should be. They still didn't have cousins in Lynchburg, but they had (more) sisters. And I was so happy and content and forgot I even cared they didn't have cousins nearby. There was some more fussing and people getting on each others nerves and obvious that 8 people, 2 dogs and 2 cats was too much for one house. Jayna made it clear who her favorite people were and weren't. Anthony was and is Anthony and prefers to hibernate in his room or ride his bike. Now looking back, it was so minor in the grand scheme, even if it felt big and stressful in that moment! Jayna has a very strong personality so it is no surprise the two people in the house with the strongest personalities would bump heads the most! I had no clue what a gigantic gift was in the making.
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| Christmas Eve 2015- Marko was taking the pic |
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| Christmas day 2015- Marko with our kids |
Jayna enjoyed having a little sister and doing all that little sister big sister stuff. She didn't realize what a role model she was to Jayla and that Jayla loved to copy her. But she did love her and being with her. Anthony more willingly joined in family activities that wouldn't typically be his thing as we did our version of elf on the shelf and other things geared more towards Jayla's age in addition to our normal things.
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| Siblings |
And then the family dynamic changed back to just us 4. And that is when it slowly became a realization. My kids have (another) local cousin (Kierra and Cale I didn't forget about you!). A cousin whom they are both very close too! A cousin who can easily take them out of their shell and see their true happiest personalities. Yes she is far younger than them, but that is ok. Their bond doesn't seem to notice an age difference. I love that not only can our kids grow up together and be close, but that I also have great friends, practically another sister and brother. I am so glad that the stress and frustrations that were an obvious issue of a large household in a small house are gone. The kids never have a complaint about spending time with their cousin Jayla or her parents--- ok I mean other than the long boring hour drive. Jayna even has sleepovers-- sometimes at Jayla's request and sometimes from Jayna's own request.
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| Cousins Forevermore |
I am so happy to get to continue to fully have Jayla in our lives and her parents are the added bonus I never knew I'd appreciate this much. So where as I feel all my nieces and nephews (minus you Kierra) live sooooo far away or that we are just fb friends and don't have that Aunt/Cousin bond.... I get to have Jayla, Corey and Alisa and they want to be a part of mine and the kids lives just as much as I want them in ours. We've been there since before day 1 with Jayla but never on a level like this and to get here we have clearly overcome a lot together.
