I suck at blogging most the time anymore. It's even worse when you don't necessarily want to relive a moment- but don't want to forget it either. And so here I am 4 months later blogging about what As of April 16,2018 was my worst ever day. This is the third blog in a 4 part series. If you would like to read the first two, click below:
Full Circle- Thurs Dec 22-23
Christmas at VCU- Dec 22-25
Tuesday, Dec, 26, 2017 I was basically pain free. I got my morphine pump removed already. Stupid amateur mistake hahaha. In case I ever decide to get caught on fire again I now know to fake the pain, keep the pump for when the drain is removed!
They came to give me my pain meds about 10/11. I told the nurse I really didn't need it. The nurse said you should take them because you don't want to chase your pain or have pain from having the wound vac removed. I agreed no issue. About 12:30 they came to take me to the "procedure room". That is THE WORST place in the world, I'm certain! I don't remember much about the room. They don't consider this as being put under as I was given some gas vs anesthesia. I do remember screaming uncontrollably in pain, and for Marko when I got back from this. Marko assumed he had time for lunch. He said it had only been 15 minutes when the staff contacted him and he could hear me screaming. Of course he returned immediately. The worst ever pain. Far worse than giving natural birth! However the NP acted as if there should be nearly no pain. She thought I was dramatizing it all or something. My blood pressure and heart rate were very high and setting off alarms because of the pain which was increasing both. They wouldn't give me anything. They finally agreed to give me a bolus of pain medication through my iv site but said this would be the only time they would be able to do it was I sure I wanted to use it now. Had I written this blog sooner I would remember what it was called. It was enough relief to help me rest- but not a sound sleep and certainly not painless and very broken rest as pain would still wake me up. I did not have a watch and I am clueless on time. I know the medicine wore off and I was miserable- more than that even. I had Marko on edge, I know but I couldn't be calmer in such extreme pain. My hip was in pain because I literally couldn't move any other direction even an inch in an opposite direction because I couldn't handle anything touching the donor site. Or any pressure on the donor site. All my pain was from the donor site and
not the burns themselves. The other pain was a lot of hip pain but that wasn't on the same level as the donor site at all. It was evening. Everyone was insisting I eat. Who can eat when they feel like a torture victim? I agreed to let Marko order me dry frosted flakes, nothing more. He tried but they hadn't done the paperwork to allow the kitchen to send me food. I was still listed as npo. He told the nurse and this repeated 3 times over an hr and the kitchen was minutes away from being closed. He was about to loose his cool when they finally entered the diet order. I barely touched the cereal bc again, who can eat when they feel like you may literally be dying.
Now that it's been over 2 years later it's even harder to remember slight details but I can easily recall all of this. It was unimaginable pain constantly!
I was pretty sure they thought I was a drug addict because of my poor dental health. And so they wouldn't give me adequate pain relief. I remember telling Marko this a lot. I thought they figured I caught on fire like home meth lab or bc I was high and didn't realize I was being unsafe and caught myself on fire because I obviously had bad teeth which is common with drug addicts. I don't know if my theory is true or why they won't allow adequate pain relief especially as I had previously exhibited my undesire for pain meds and refusal of over use. So my appearance was the only factor I could figure. It caused a lot of shame amidst my extreme pain. And that didn't disappear nearly as quickly as my wounds. That will be another blog.
The night was slow and tortuous with nearly no sleep. Marko was beside me every moment, very uncomfortably as I moaned and cried out it pain almost all night long and I didn't want him to go anywhere. This means he barely had lunch bc the nursing staff had interupted his meal when my procedure ended and I was hysterical and he hadn't left to get dinner to stay with me continuously.
I know Marko forced them to call the on call because the nurses didn't have authority to give me any more pain meds after that iv i had at some point in the afternoon. They had no on call dr because the holiday so we got the nurse who works directly under dr. She said I shouldn't be in this much pain. I'm so glad she has 1st hand knowledge, or not.
I don't remember when it became more bearable, but it was after daylight, 1st shift came in and I could have an oral pain med reguarly.
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