She's not sexy

As I scroll through facebook, as I see other kids at the pool and even at bible school, as I hear the pre teen and teen lingo, as I see other moms and Aunts interact and comment on the girls they love... I realize I am so different, and it's ok I guess.  And yet it kind of saddens me and sickens me for the sake of the other unknowing.

I just want it to be clear, my daughter is NOT sexy and she never will be except to her husband.
To me though, the same goes for my nieces, Jayna's female friends, my even my sisters.

I am utterly confused when I look on facebook or sites on line and I see a baby and toddler aged little girls and their captions say things like "sexy baby" or "sexy lil mama".  What the What!!!?!!  Nothing about this precious baby is was or ever will be correlated to words like sexy or hot or lil momma or .... any other wording that is meant for mature adult women, not my innocent and precious daughter.  Then it continues as that child is a pre teen and certainly a teen-- they desire to be sexy and they think the less clothes the sexier.  I don't even like seeing sexy on my sister's facebook.  She is far beyond sexy, she's beautiful, intelligent, talented, unique... and maybe to her husband sexy but the average friend no way!  Give a compliment with real meaning not "sexy"!

Do you realize the meaning of "Sexy"?

sexy

adjective \ˈsek-sē\

: sexually appealing, attractive, or exciting

: having interesting or appealing qualities

Why would ANY parent every refer to a child this way?  And why would you want your child to or allow your child to dress in a manner that will make others think she is sexy?  My daughter is NOT sexy!

My daughter IS beautiful.

My daughter IS talented and unique

My daughter IS loving and caring

My daughter is strong and brave

My daughter IS sassy

My daughter IS loved

My daughter IS happy, even though she has modesty guidelines

My daughter is NOT sexy-- she is just a child!

It really blows my mind when I see girls allowed to wear whatever is in "style" regardless how much skin it shows.  Not my kid.  I can't understand why girls even want to wear shorts that barely cover their butt cheeks and the pockets are longer than the shorts.  Not my kid.
I don't care if the female movement thinks we have these rules that are "unfair" to my daughter because boys can't control themselves why should the girls be punished or when boys get to go shirtless.
I don't care if the secular people think I'm too old fashioned and living in a box and not allowing my kid to fit in or express herself.

In our house,
all skirts and dresses have shorts or leggings worn with them.
All shorts must be at least meet the fingertip rule and preferably to the knee
Nothing low cut
No 2 piece swim wear
Nothing too tight
Nothing too thin- thus see through w/o another shirt under it

Every household should set some ground rules, but these are ours, for our house.


Marko (somewhat kiddingly) says his 2 #1 jobs are to keep his daughter off the pole (stripper/sex industry) and to not have her be a young parent like us.  Sure we managed and even have become somewhat successful but it isn't what we want for our kids.  So in the process of helping them go farther with more success is caring enough about them to have dress codes and to instill into her mind what is and isn't appropriate.

I feel sorry for those kids without guidelines.  Often times those kids find their way towards trouble of a sexual nature.  No I'm not surprised, but I also think they were ill prepared and given a false security.  If that dress shows all when you bend down, if those shorts are no longer than under wear, if your outfit is skin tight.... you are giving off an impression you may not intend, but it's still given.  We live in an over-sexualized time.  I also feel bad when they find that trouble they are punished both by parents and other consequences that come with being sexual before the time is proper.  How can it be ok for them to "look sexy" (typically by lack of clothing) and yet not ok to be having sex as a teen.  That's a confusing double standard.  They need boundaries and rules and my child will be taught modesty and she will learn the importance of herself-- not the popularity of her outfit.  There is no guarantee that Jayna won't rebel (like her mom) and choose a more risky apparel when she leaves the house unknown to us.  But I have no doubt she'll know our thoughts and God's on her ward robe.

1 Timothy 2:9
I also want the women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, adorning themselves, not with elaborate hairstyles or gold or pearls or expensive clothes

1 Corinthians 6:19-20
Don't you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.