Christmas at VCU

To read part one of pre-surgery, click here for The Full Circle

I had skin graft surgery about 2pm Friday Dec 22.  It lasted about 3 hours according to the billed insurance hours.  I woke up in some room with a bunch of other dead looking people who hadn't woken up (yet).   No curtains, no privacy.  Reminded me of what a morgue would look like.  Except there were a lot of machines that were on and no body bags within eye site, but of course I couldn't sit up per say and make sure.  I don't feel like that much time passed between recovery room and back to the ICU but again not a clue in reality. I do remember the MOST important detail...

Sweet Tea, Marko brought me sweet tea!

 but really that rest of the day is a daze.  See sweet tea is REALLY important.  All my coworkers can vouch for this.  I have sworn my entire 3 years at work that I would not eat this hospital food and my family absolutely would be bringing me real food and ESPECIALLY a never ending supply of tea.  I didn't really ever anticipate it happening again.  (Marko obeyed orders with both hospital stays with pregnancy.  Every other patient may have been on an ice chip diet, NOT ME!)  So when I had a full supply of tea (2 bottles) waiting on me as soon as I came out of surgery AND he held the bottle for me and had a straw because yes I was that weak.  That is true love to me.  I don't need flowers, jewelry, a fancy anything, no desire for birthday, valentines day, Christmas or Anniversary gifts.  This was equivalent to any blingy ring to me!
 I tried to go back and see when I chatted with friends but literally nothing until almost midnight so clearly nicely medicated.  I do remember nurses.  And I remember really having to fight for them to agree to give me my migraine preventative at the proper prescribed dosage.  That seemed so super stupid as to why they wanted to debate me getting it.  I was super upset about that, but I won just about midnight and got my medication.  I was on a morphine pump, antibiotics, and what seemed like a cup full of pills.
The most humiliating part was the bathroom issue.  I was on 100% bedrest for 5 days.  Not a leg out of the bed so bathroom usage was embarrassing to say the least.  Who knew there was a female urinal? or an external female catheter (purewick)? Now you know! So I've always joked with Marko about putting him in a nursing home when he needs diapers in his ancient state.  So now he proudly declares I can no longer do that since we has changing my sheets, and doing every embarassing and personal step of urinary care.  Disgusting even thinking back to being in that state!  He was one highly underpaid CNA in every way! (because the attentiveness of staff on a holiday weekend is one heck of a joke, trust me!) It's very humbling to suddenly fully rely on someone else when you are super independent, not the clingy type and used to running the household solo at least 50% of the time (Marko frequently works out of town). Especially for super personal bathroom care and yet, he never complained.  He would literally leap up from sleep to do anything I would ask or need.

By the next morning I was back to normalness-- as normal as a very abnormal bed-rester can be.   I tolerated cream of wheat and ate the banana for lunch.  Saved the rest set to the side.  I began my process of compare contrast and complain or praise the two room services.  I think I will make that a blog of it's own.

 

  There wasn't too much notable about the 23rd.  I was on a morphine pump still.  The previous day Marko would push it multiple times.  But today I was mostly off of it, except to fall asleep or seriously reposition in the bed.

I was very surprised by two all-star doctors who popped up that evening.

Knowing I was hours from home combined with the holidays, I knew I wouldn't be having visitors.  Initially the plan was to be discharged Christmas eve according to what I was told in the ER anyways.  So, it was pretty surprising and exciting to have my brother and sister (in law) from Baltimore, Maryland show up!  They, like everyone who entered my room minus Marko had to be fully covered in scrubs, shoe coverings and gloves.  They couldn't stay too long because they'd left Steeler dog in their vehicle, but I still was so grateful to have my family there to check in on me.  Bedrest is a pretty low point, especially when you don't have a cute little one on the way as an excuse.    Marko made me order dinner even though I had no appetite.  I ate half the veggie personal pizza.  I saved the dessert for later too.  

By that night I refused any morphine or pain medications.  And I was scratching like I have seen on that TV show intervention.  The morphine had made me insanely itchy and scratching the heck out of myself.      My pump was nearing full that afternoon but the nurse didn't think it was an issue and cancelled the alarm.  That late night it began to beep and my leg was hurting and the blood was escaping the bandages because the vaccum pump was over full.  It needed emptied and replaced .  Unfortunately the staffing issues were obvious.  The nurse didn't know how to replace it properly. That was enjoyable.

Luckily on Christmas eve morning I got a nurse change.  My leg was hurting still and the bandage still leaking.  Luckily that nurse did know how to fix the issues.  she changed the vacuum container (again) properly this time, had to rebandage the leg as the over flowing had messed up the vacuum sealed bandages.  That was much appreciated and alleviated the pressure and pain. They also disconnected me from the morphine pump since I wasn't using it. They kept the Iv in my arm but not hooked up to anything. After 3 days I wasn't hooked up to anything!  She also took off the pulse readerr and blood pressure cuff and instead oft every 4 hour vials I graduated to ever 8 hours.  It was clock work.  I could predict exactly when the cna and rn would pop in.  3 times a day for the CNA (7:30,3:30,almost midnight-- you know like 12 minutes after I would fall asleep for the night or something) and 4 times a day for the RN (7, 3,10 and 11) only because the delay for my migraine med that first day threw off my meds that i was getting one set of mes at 10pm and one set at 11pm. every day, so silly.  I only remember ordering breakfast that day.  And the nurse was trying to force me to eat a ton of yogurt (for protein).  So now yogurt makes me nauseous.  I may never eat it again. Marko escaped to Kroger for some food, sweet tea and most importantly I needed a hairbrush!  My hair was awful and I wanted to separate the burnt together parts and face whatever damage may be there.  I have crazy thick frizzy hair naturally so still a head full but it'd been up in like a knot since the ER.  Luckily damage appears minimal after I brushed it.  I'm sure it's crazy uneven but that's just fine!  I was super bummed I was missing Christmas Eve with my parents.  A few days earlier we had been told mom only had 4 weeks to 4 months and there was no further treatments available.  So it wasn't just I missed our Christmas.  I missed my last Christmas with my mom.  It was a true sucker punch.  Thankfully my sister Karlee from Florida made it home for the first time in 2 years which was extra special.  Then Zach, Rebekah, Mark his girlfriend Regina, Jan and Kierra were all there to celebrate with Steeler the dog of course!  

One of my best friends went to my house to get my kids their traditional Christmas Eve gifts: pajamas of course and took them to them.  That was really a big deal to me.  I've gotten them pjs for Christmas Eve since Anthony's 1st Christmas.  Of course Jayna somehow didn't get the "message" so she didn't open hers but oh well we sure tried and I greatly appreciated Wendy going out of her way to make it happen!

Christmas pjs with outter space cats of course

Christmas morning was just another day of the week.  I still had no appetite.  I don't really remember any meals other than a yogurt and a fruit cup. Marko got a complimentary lunch meal.   Not much of anything notable most the day.  My littlest brother, Anthony and Jayna came to visit that evening.  The kids ate up my overstock of meal left overs and juices.  I didn't see the Dr at all since the 22nd post surgery. 

All geared up (briefly for Jayna)

she approves the brownie cupcake

Marko had to tease Jayna with the filter

Starring competition: Jayna won!

Since I knew the nurse's routines, the gowns didn't last long.  Naughty rule breakers ;-)

And then came the 2nd worst day of my life. (First worst day was 14.5 years earlier when my Godson died)  Yes worst than being on fire- easily!  Think that will be a separate blog.  These get too long, drawn out and boring.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    

Full Circle

The Full Circle

Sometimes it takes weeks, months, even years to watch anything go full circle.  I saw it happen in a matter of hours which I would say is typically uncommon.

I was feeling cruddy for the 11th day and after I got off I headed to the urgent care for some real meds.  My first sinus infection, how lucky.  Of course it is also Christmas week and I had a few loose ends to tie up too and since I am not contagious olive garden's minestrone soup was a must while waiting on the prescription.  Anyone who knows me decently well knows I prefer to stay busy.  So it is no surprise I only had 30 mins at home to take my meds and rest before I needed to give a friend, Wendy, a ride to court. If tables were turned I'd want the emotional support.  I was extra glad I was there since her 13 year old was also required to go and it is awkward and potentially scary sitting outside the court while your parents and legal people debate and fuss over the best path.  

Afterwards I decided our families better exchange gifts because it is Dec 22 and I wasn't sure when we would have time later.  So I ran us to my house to collect gifts, then to her house. 

After we exchanged and chatted it was time for them to pick up their step kids.  The boys were past due for a haircut so I offered to take them so they didn't have to.  It was the youngest's 1st time at a Barbour shop so it was a little extra special. 

Just as we finished up at the Barbour shop Tab called me and asked if I could pick them up.  Unfortunately they had hit a dear. So the boys and me started our hour drive to pick them up.  Once there, we still needed to go get the other kids.  We got one of two as the youngest was another hour away and we were out of seats.  I took them to their house and Wendy to barrow a vehicle from her mom in law. 

I headed home. It was already late, like 9.  So I wss making Anthony and me our go to dinner, basically spaghetti with different shaped noodles and extra veggies in the sauce.  I got the pot of water on, ending my evening phone call to Marko (8:42pm). He had one more day on site and then he would be home for Christmas.  As our norm it was a brief call.  I was cutting up the green peppers and mushrooms in our small kitchen on the counter with my back facing the stove.  It felt like steam as if the water was ready for the  pasta.  I tuned to get the box of pasta and realized my sweater was on fire. Initially as crazy as it was i honestly thought it was no big deal.  That must be that insane self calming reaction.  Then I saw the flame in the peripheral vision.  And obviously it was serious. At this point I have no clue on time.  I tried that stop drop and roll thing. I had been told and taught it as far back as I know.  And my kids had been too.  Obviously I was burning so maybe I didn't give it a fair chance or long enough to work.  Maybe I only rolled 15 seconds, maybe 2 minutes. No clue at all. But it did nothing and it was spreading. I know I will never try it again should the need arise.  So it was time for plan B.  I had to get the sweater off and over my head was the only other option.  Luckily I now believe hair really isn't very flammable.  The sweater was stuck on my head, seriously. Scariest thing ever.  I couldn't get it over my head and it was a loose sweater!  I believe m hair was melting to it.  My fake nails were burnt and minor burns on my fingertips. They remained discolored for two weeks; a odd tan burn color.  Now at 3 weeks the skin is peeling. My charred  hair bits I saw on the floor. But no clumps and my hair is super thick so it truly is unnoticable, not that I overly cared although was nervous after the fact.  So shirt is off.  I dumped that pot of boiling water on it, to get the remainder of the fire out of the sweater. Not the smartest per say but i wasnt stepping over it to the sink for cold water, I didn't know if I had time to figure out an alternative.  I was just trying to think quick and that was immediate. So fire is out, shirt is off.  The pain was intense. So the screaming began for Anthony. My dearly beloved video game addict eventually heard my screams for him.  I felt like it took a LONG time. But again I have no sense of time.  When he came downstairs i was taking my pants off. I don't know if they were already off.  I was surprised when I got them off to realize they and my underwear were kind of on fire. No shooting flames but like charcoal, they had the glow and ember appearance.  Had I known I would have been much more speedy with the removal.  I still couldn't stop screaming or crying... crying wasn't even the word.

I did get Anthony to call Wendy.  We had just talked at 9:06 and she was already on her way to my house because she forgot something in my van so I thought that was the wisest choice because I wasn't sure if I was over reacting because of shock and I've never been to the ER and I am pretty against Lynchburg General's ER so I was hoping she would think it wasn't that big of a deal for me to go to the hospital.  Anthony called her at 9:20. Tada a slight sense of time returned thanks to my call log (well after the fact). Before she got there I had Anthony take a picture. It just looked like sunburn. In his defense he didn't capture the entire burn because 1. His mom was naked and 2. I think he was being kind trying to get me naked rear in the picture. I don't know when Wendy got there, but again it seemed to take a long time. Everything took a LONG time in my mind.  She was supposed to be getting her step daughter for their Christmas visit weekend. Instead she was at my house, I'm sure the child's mom thought Wendy was making up a story, but that didn't matter to her. It DID matter to me.  First you are late picking up because you are in a car accident and now you can't come because your friend caught on fire does sound far fetched.  My intent was her to say it's just a bad sun burn level but she didn't.  She said I needed to go to the hospital. A normal person may have called the fire department, literally 3 blocks away, instead I chose my super close friend.  And even if I had no friends I doubt I'd ever call 911 without an immediate life or death situation. Still I wasn't sure about the hospital and I didn't want to cause her more issues so didn't want her to take me knowing the average wait is 12hours... on a good day.  So I call my mother in law, Momma for a second opinion honestly to not have to go, but also in case I HAD to go it wouldn't effect Wendy's family's Christmas weekend.  Unfortunately Momma is WAY more pro hospital than me so even if it were just a sunburn, I was stuck going from the second I said I was on fire.  So we got to drive the 3 miles to the hospital, a majority behind a lovely Sunday driver, except it's like 10pm on a Thursday, I can't sit back and I can't let my shirt touch my back.

We get to the hospital.  Wendy followed, she parked and rhen parked Momma's van as she stopped basically at the front door.  They immediately took me back. I didn't even touch the waiting room. After vitals and check in Wendy lefy.  But that day clearly illustrated a friendship full cicrle.  Not that I needed proof, but it's the bonus of a pretty super crappy story.

Initially and briefly I was in the hall. Tada, apparently it was a real emergency Beth, not a sunburn, to get immediately taken back at LGH.  (typical wait here is about 5 hours) Then again the pitbull may have blown the place up had they not.  Momma sometimes doesn't show patience. Imagine that. She's Marko's mom.  They quickly moved a patient, had my friends at environmental services clean the room, and I am put into major trauma bay 3.  They waste no time putting in an Iv, start fluids and administer fentanyl.  The nurse was great.  I feel bad I don't know her name so I was unable to acknowledge her by name in the post visit survey, yes seriously. I don't remember a ton except sitting at the edge, very edge of the hospital bed they lowered to be like chair level for me.  

I do remember in the hallway momma called Marko.  It was 9:57.  Perhaps his most caught off guard phone call to date since I was fine when we talked at 8:42, I am extremely anti-dr, i was in a hospital and his mom's voice wasn't sounding right. He said it sounded like she was crying.Yesss a clue on time range. She also called dad at 10:04.  He might have been surprised I was with momma initially, but that Tuesday we had gotten awful news on mom's life expectancy, that day they'd spent at UVA draining fluid and then the fact I was naked would have come into thought. 

Again anyone who knows me, know I'm VERY attached to my phone. Yet this entire time I never touch it.  The shock and pain were real. No show! I didn't call or text anyone.  I went through 3 bags of fluid throughout my ER visit.  At one point the Dr asked if I wanted to see. Of course I did.  He asked permission to take photos. He showed me one, but took multiple to speak and share with the on call burn Dr at UVA.  I am unsure of their conversations.  In the picture, my bottom half back is blistered, and just  above to below back is extra burnt and solid white-ish, not your typical red burn appearance.   They didn't really do anything in the ER.  Then the Dr was preparing me for discharge.  He said to follow up with wound care (in Richmond).  Then he asked about pain. Honestly it hadn't changed much.  Then I was given morphine in the Iv which was so much more effective.  Then at some point after that he was like would you like to be transferred to VCU for pain management.  You can be home before Christmas, they can make you more comfortable or you can chose to be discharged and follow up.  Obviously dad and momma didn't hesitate to request transfer. I really didn't care in that moment but was very willing.  The doctor had already said I would most likely need a skin graph so out patient would become in patient.  Just before the ambulance came they covered my back.  Dad went ahead and left as nothing more was going to happen. 
Momma waited until my transfer ambulance came.  I can remember the guy was Dustin. I think the lady who drove was Stephanie.  They were very nice.  Stephanie drove. Dustin was in the back.  Stephanie said it's about 3 hours we should be there in 2 😂.  I was hooked up to endless monitors which are always required for transport.  I had to lay on my side and the ride was painful. Dustin gave me more morphine.  I tried to nap but after 3 bags of fluids i was dying for a bathroom. I kept trying to sleep to get my mind off of needing to use the bathroom! Of course far easier said than done.  

We got VCU just before 5am.  We had to wait for them to clear a room.  So my two paramedic and I chilled in the hall for 10 to 15 min.  Finally I was put in room 20.  Then a lot more waiting.  Not my strong point.  The doctor came hr got a cool picture of my back.  It looked like it been stuck in a house fire.  The blisters were still everywhere, the worst white burns were more distinctive and now there was a gray ash-like streaks too.  Of course I wasn't with it enough to ask for him to take a photo with my phone to see.  He started cutting the blisters.  Not sure why.  PAINFUL.  He wasn't doing it long at all before a change of plans: surgery.

Marko finally got there around 6:15 I think it was.  They brought a bedside table and pillows to attempt to make sitting up for your number 9 more comfortable.... Not really possible. But I did very lightly doze in and out for that final hour in the ER.  Then I was transferred to the ICU- room 24.  I was feeling awful by then.  The lack of sleep, leap in pain and sinus infection.

See, I really did look AWFUL

I was sure I was going to vomit on the elevator ride up to icu.  Luckily as soon as I got there they were able to give me anti-nausea meds... maybe more than just that.  I was asleep for the next chunk of time maybe until 1.  A bunch of people came in and out repeating the same stuff I'm pretty sure.  I remember surgery was scheduled for 2pm. I don't know what time it really started.  They prepped me for surgery. They said something to the effevt, now is when you say your goodbyes.  But then they told him to follow them (I guess to surgical waiting room) My darn sleep deprived husband forgot to even kiss me. Yep, I clearly remember that haha.  I remember going into the operating room.  They started playing a lullaby.  No I'm not delusional!  They put oxygen on which I wasn't a fan of then some mask over my face.  I am sure I was nearly immediately out.  Of course all meds are thru iv so no clue when they were added etc.  The said surgery would last 3 hours. I am clueless how long it really lasted.  All post surgery will be a seperate blog.

Desmond T. Doss Memorial Run

Oct 8th finally came which meant the long  awaited 1st annual Desmond T. Doss Memorial Run was here at last!  This race was of great significance.  It would honor one of our nation's most deserving heroes- our school's name sake, It would help support local veterans and the school, Mr. Doss Jr would be coming to town to town along with our Mayor to start off the opening ceremonies.

My afternoon began with a really healthy lunch at Wendy's (well at least mine was kinda healthy- baked tater w/ sour cream and a small sweet tea) where we met up with my niece and her parents. After a quick lunch we grabbed Jayna from Poppy and Grandma's house and headed down town to get our race packet (aka bag of goodies, a race shirt and you "bib" number for the non race people reading)

This "race" truly was meant for every one.  There was the 1/2 marathon for the crazy fit, the 10k for the crazy good runners, the kids k for well you know, the krazy kids and the 5k for both the average crazy runner and for the crazy determined regardless of fitness level, walk of life, or reason to go 3plus miles no matter at what speed.  I signed Jayla up for the kid k because Anthony and Jayna have enjoyed the kids runs they've done at bopth Elon Elementary and Jingle Bell Run plus I had enjoyed kids ks about 25 years ago myself.

old school photo of My kids K

Opening Ceremonies began at 1pm.  Mayor Joan Foster led the beginning ceremony, followed by the presentation of arms and 29th Infantry Division Band playing the National Anthem. 

Then Mr. Billy introduced Desmond T. Doss Jr who joined us traveling all the way from Washington State.  It was the first time Mr. Doss was publically  reading of the Medal of Honor Citation presented to Desmond Doss by President Truman on October 12, 1945.  It was moving.  His voice would crack and he would pause to keep from crying as he read the terrors his father faced as he was determined to serve tis country and not bare arms at any cost.  He became one of this Nation's greatest hero's as he saved soldier after soldier and prayed to God to please let him save one more.  He did pay a price becoming seriously injured but kept going.  At the end of the reading Mr. Doss Jr left us with one question. "What more can you do?" 

Mr. Billy welcoming Mr. Doss

Mr. Billy awarded Mr. Doss the 1st medal of the race!  In addition take special notice to the picture on stage left corner

 The school teachers literally covered every single detail when it came to this race.  It held high importance for so many!  One person who had been looking forward to walking the 5k, was unable although he was involved in the early stages of planning and Jayna remembers him being excited and telling them he would be doing it.  Unfortunately God needed him more, so Mr. Copper joined us in spirit and was visually there in the framed photo on stage in the left hand corner.  After Mr. Doss was finished Rev. James Coleman lead us in prayer

reading of the Medal of Honor Citation

 After Mr. Doss was finished Rev. James Coleman lead us in prayer.  Then everyone had a bit of time to enjoy the assortment of booths, displays and even inflatables prior to the kids race starting at 2:15.

Rev. Coleman, Mayor Foster, Mr. Doss, and Brent Epperson a Doss ancestor

at 2:15 The Kids race was ready to begin. J.J., one of the cross country kids lead the heard of youngsters. There two we had the super fast and ready kids and the I might die after 1 lap kids.  Everyone did finish, although not without some mandatory kiddo tears.

On your Mark

Get Set

Go

After the kid race, we asked Mr. Doss if he would take a picture with my two Desmond T. Doss Kiddos. He obliged without hesitation all smiles!

At 3pm the Half Marathon began for our crazy fir friends.  That includes our very own Mrs. Kelly (3rd/4th grade teacher at DTD) and her running buddies
(who are gearing up for the D.C. marathon :-0 )

10 minutes later the 10k began (sorry no photo bc I was chatting with Juanda, Marquis and Richard)
and at 3:17 the 5k began

On your mark get set

GO!!

No such thing as too fast or too slow. the Dedication is the same!

The serious to the casual and even a unicycler.

How the heck are these two all happy smiley now running for fun but one of them was in tears during her race-- really Jayla J?!  I guess you can walk with me next year

Diet Coke Family w/ friend

Everyone had their own reasonings to run/walk/participate.  Some truly did it just for the love of the sport.  Some did it as enlisted service members.  Some made a goal months ago to be healthy enough to participate whether running or walking and they too succeeded.  So many had a story.  Some of the youngsters didn't understand the magnitude of importance of this race, they were just excited to be in a race.  Some families made this a family affair. And what better way to have a Sunday family time day?  For one family in particular it was the end of their 1st week together and they got to participate together. What an exciting way to close the first week together!  As I previously mentioned, some used this race as training for a marathon upcoming.  The people at the race I have known the longest (my dad and kids excluded) are lovingly dubbed "The diet coke family" from my good ole Burger King days.  We met thru that drive thru 13 years almost ago now.  We were far more than customer/sales person as rung true of most my regular customers. And after Burger King and me separated, I still remained in contact with many customers also known as Burger King family.  5 years ago after my kids started at Desmond T. Doss Christian Academy, I got a private message from my Diet coke lady.  She was curious about this school and wanted more info, because she is cousins with Desmond T. Doss.  She's rooted on my kids at this school, collected box tops and would share her connection to the Doss family.  It was super cool this past year as Desmond got national recognition once more via the big screen after his story was made into film.  I would see her share things with her cousin Desmond Jr.  It was such a neat experience to get to learn so much more and feel so much more united to the school after this movie because really prior to it all I knew is he was a war hero who didn't carry a gun.  Which is easy to say, but sooooo much more to actually watch almost like being there and to finally see the massive lengths he went to to serve his country and his God.  So some participants in yesterdays walk/run were truly FAMILY honoring their cousin. 

Mrs. Jeannie's Teacher aid Mrs. Brittany got 1st place. Dad got 2nd.

And then there was one honorable mention.  I am not sure what their story is, whether they are school friends, or doing it for fun or whatever reason but Our oldest participant was a mere 95 years old and rode in her wheel chair while being pushed along the 5k!

The race was a total success. It seemed everyone had a good day. The opening ceremony was very moving and motivating too-- Desmond wanted to save one more, one more, one more.  What more can you do?

Do they know?

Life changing sentence right there.  I am not the overly emotional lovey-dovey huggy type.  Not even close.  I used to be far more talkative, outgoing and confident but, even then I wouldn't go out of my way to hug someone or say I love you at the end of a conversation/day; with the exception of my kids and husband, or as we prepare to leave my grandparents house or my sister or brothers house.

But do the people you value truly know you value them? Have they heard your praises?  Or at the end of the day at the funeral is that the first time you openly admit the impact that person has made?

Jayna's (now former) teacher suddenly and unexpectedly died the last week of July.  At merely 50, relatively heathy, seen by a Dr, so no real medical neglect either all of the school family and his friends and family were basically blindsided by his sudden death. Unlike a typical school we are a very small school with genuine relationships.  There isn't the fear factor of having a genuine personal relationship at school and away from school, online, trips together, outings or hikes or what not.  Far beyond what we've experienced in a public school teacher and student/parent relationship. 

Pastor Mike, a very close friend came to town to lead his memorial service at the school level. (Kid friendly next step of closure, but not his actual funeral either) As friends, parents and students spoke regarding their memories of him and the impact he had made a question/statement was asked/states by Pastor Mike.  I can't remember the precise wording, but to the best of my memories....

I don't know if Mr. Cooper really knew how much people cared about him.  I'm not sure he realized the impact he was making and how loved he was.

Do the people in your life really know you care about them and love them?  I'm typically a (corny) gift giver.  I try to show my love and appreciation through gifts and a simple note or an applicable bible verse (not typically personalized, although written or typed by me).  But I don't know in all our conversations and texts if I ever told him his importance and value on my life.  I know I thanked him the past two years buy did he view it as a traditional it's teacher appreciation week obligation or did he really know and accept the value in how God was using him.  All this to simply say, do the people you value know it? Your colleagues, your medical team, your daughter's best friend's mom, your extended family, your teachers, your son's coach, your pastor, your accountability partner whether weight loss, spiritual, AA sponsor, whomever you value, do they know it?