And then there were 4

As if I haven't been vocal enough this year about my passion towards the well being of the children in my life, why not prove it once more.  And to vaguely answer some of the many questions we have had about our growing family.... only almost 2 months later because apparently the more kids you add on the less time you have to type... or something like that.

For a majority of my BK career I referred to my employees as my BK Family.  It is/was true.  We made many lasting friendships that feel almost like family.
One in particular was Alisa.  I hired her probably in 2008.  Like most my other employees we got to truly know one another more than on a how you make a whopper level.  In Dec 2010 I through her a baby shower at BK where several employees came and her family as well  as a few regular customers.

Alisa didn't have a lot of close family.  That Christmas they were planning on spending it alone on a Ramen Noodle type budget.  Of course that did not happen and I made my small house accommodate quite the crowd, including them and one other employee.

Amusingly I helped name their daughter as we discussed baby names on fb and she liked the suggestion of Jayla amongst many other possible possibilities.  And when Jayla Kay-Ann was born of course I met her 10 hours later.

I haven't missed a birthday, I was the sole witness, photographer and guest when Cory and Alisa got married 2 years ago.  So Jayla has been no stranger in my life.

Birthdays 1-4

Of course she has joined in on my favorite local summer activities: VBS

Alisa and Cory are married Dec 2014 

And so when Jayla and her parents became homeless, there really was no question on what to do.  Initially Jayla had other living arrangements and her parents knew we had an open door policy, although they choose not to partake in more than free showers, meals, laundry services.  But when Jayla's living arrangement fell through -- immediately it was known she was to be with us.  I hate to see children suffer adult consequences (for lack of better wordage) and homelessness is not something I would ever want her to truly face and understnad and to her little four year old head she has in deed moved a lot (too much) but she's always had a home, a loving place to stay and that will always be the case if I have any power or any say.
Within hours she had her own room all set up.  Still initially her parents  weren't ready to stay here so from the first week of November until Thanksgiving it was only Miss Jayla living here.  But once her parents stayed here over Thanksgiving it was without saying permanent.  As with any situation in life there are some adjustment factors, mostly for Jayna I think as Jayla seems rather unaffected by it all. Jayla hasn't had to change schools since moving here;  just buses/bus stops.  She gets to see more of her parents than the previous living arrangement had.  And she really hasn't had any issues even when I was being the primary care giver instead of others she was used to as her parents work, deal with adult issues, and try to prepare their next home--- none of which are kid friendly tasks so it's more convenient for Jayla to not have to tag along to all of that when she doesn't need to.

All will work out and most importantly all four of my children are loved unconditionally, WANTED and hopefully are having the opportunity to be a part of a blended family that is accepting of their strengths, flaws and everything in between and and will teach them how family should be for some of them the first time and some of them have never known any different. Miss Jayla will likely only be here until February but she is certainly one of our children and we do our best to have absolute equalness for each child, right down to the number of gifts we had for each child under the tree (which was really too many, but they will have memories of that Christmas when...)

And so our life has been blessed with four children.  And just when you think you have your life planned out and you successfully had that magic number of children you imagined and everyone says one of each is perfect---- life throws you into reality.  There is no perfect number of children and their is no plan that can't successfully take a few unexpected turns.  And we have now had two unplanned children, just not pregnancies so our nine months of planning was more like nine hours for our last two children.  And we will all live happily ever after!

Our kids 2015: Angela, Anthony, Jayla and Jayna

Week of Prayer- Sabbath Education

This is easily one of my favorite weeks of the school year.  Right up there with teacher appreciation week.  So it is no surprise I giddily awaiting Saturday all week long and not because it was my weekend off work!
Starting with Monday when I picked the kids up from Momma's house, they were so anxious for me to go home and youtube this song.  I had never heard of it, although we listen to spirit fm, journey and the light 98% of the time in the car.  I didn't have time to you tube it with them between supper and homework prior to bed time.  But I did you tube it after they went to bed.  I wasn't certain it was the right song as it was posted by a different religion church.  The next day Jayna got a few minutes of face book time and in her few minutes she wasted no time you tubing her song and posting it to her facebook.  All week the kids were enjoying the extra worship services (they usually only have one a week, that I rarely hear about.  They do have bible class but I don't hear too much about that either unless it something extra significant in their minds that they'd never previously heard at church or from another teacher or if they are questioning if it is true... like something Ant asked about end times or when Jayna declared we are dirty because we eat any type of meat and that's not good. ;-) )

The alarm went off at 9 Saturday and I knew I had to hurry to a store to find Jayna a white shirt because that color is banned in my house.  She literally wears it 2-3 times a year only for school performances and manages to destroy it prior to the next required day to wear it.  We still got to the church/school at 10:30 as required.

The program started with the Kindergarteners-2nd graders doing the bells and then singing I've got Peace like a river.

Then the 3rd-10th graders came on stage.  They sang Now is the time  to Worship.

and we all sang Here I am to worship

They did Children's moment using the puppets.  They were pirates looking for lost treasure, then realized Christ is our treasure.

Luke, a 10th grader lead us in prayer and then they did offering.  Girls of Grace sang the special music.  A lot of the 3rd-10th gr girls are a part of G.O.G.  Jayna said they offered her to join but she said no because she can't memorize her play lines and the songs.  Smart girl.  Life requires decision making and priorities and the Christmas Play is her top non-mandatory-school activity.  They sang the theme song the kids had so excitedly shown me earlier in the week.

Mr. Billy and 4 students taught the message.  The subject was Bible Heroes.  They  had learned about one bible hero each week day.
Alex spoke of Moses

Desmond spoke of David

Dominic spoke of Elijah

Zaykees spoke of Joshua

Ian spoke of Daniel

Mr. Billy concluded with how God molds us and if we follow him we become something beautiful and he can work through us.
The kids sang a closing song that I unfortunately can't remember.  Then Mr. Doss closed in prayer.

They invited all the families for pot luck meal.  And a minor miracle occurred.... my son has not eaten mac and cheese or cheese other than on pizza in 4 years, yes FOUR.  He had mac n cheese that he didn't like ONE time and hasn't eaten it since.  Well, most of the dishes were mac n cheese or pastas.... and the boy tried and liked mac n cheese :-0


Saturday evening we had the Fall Festival at school.  As always it was great!

Never too big to play in a kiddie pool of corn.... or hula hoop with the pumpkin ring toss rings

Bean Bag Toss, Pumpkin Painting and everyones favorite... Mr Doss's haunted maze...

Add captionThis was easily Anthony's favorite game:  blow out the candle with the spray bottle.  Mr. Cooper, Anthony's teacher got the privelage of relighting these candles for endless hours.

Mrs. Kelly did the balloon dart game to the point her poor fingers were sore from tacking up so many balloons.  We have the best teachers!

Chili cookoff, The bakeshop and Mr Billy doing the auction

Camping Fun

Truth be told, this may be the only area my parents failed.  Note to other humans: mandatory requirement for a childhood= camping.  I am just a parent volunteer with the Pathfinder club through the kids school.  Usually the awkward one flashing a camera a million times an hour.  But for this trip I was also Kitchen help.
We headed to the Peaks of Otter about 3:30pm on Friday the 9th.We got there a pinch before 5 and started setting up the tents.  The boys had one, girls had one, male leaders had one and poor Mrs. Courtney and I were stuck having to sleep in the camper.  Tough life.

It took all of 5 minutes to catch the first critter, have the first drops of blood and for every boy to have a walking stick.
Mr. Lance helping the girls with the rainfly.  The kids piled the gear into Mrs. Melanie's truck.

After camp was set up, the rules were gone over, the kids got to eat their brown-bag supper.  By then the temps dropped drastically.  Just as we started our evening devotional, taught by Mr. Lance the storm began, thunder, crazy winds and plenty of rain.  It was a good lesson though about allowing God's light shine through you, complete with a glow bracelet visual aide for each kid.

Morning started extra bright and early at 6am when the boys were wide awake and loud, or at least some of them which awakened all the others.  It was chilly and foggy, and convincing the boys to keep it quiet til 7 was basically a lost cause.

We started the morning with a hike to the lake to hopefully rid them of some energy.  We found a critter at the lake too.  The kids were fascinated by him.

How we spotted our friend

Then our friend came quite close right near the edge

After visiting our friend at the lake, and a few posed pictures, it was time to head back for breakfast.  We went simple with cereal, muffins, yogurt and fruit.

After we ate we had a tent inspection courtesy of Mr. Gary and Mr. Lance.  The girls won.  Which isn't a huge shock.  Then add to the fact we had almost double the boys and it was a no-brainer.

Then it was time for Sabbath Church. This was combined with our usual church family for Outdoor Church.  Although it was frigid and rainy, we had a great turn out of about 100!  After Mr. Spencer taught on "Being Childish" (as a good thing ;-) ) we shared a picnic potluck.

After church and lunch we headed back to camp to our first campfire!  The kids of course instantly loved it!  Although some were too busy playing to sit around a fire.  We had emergency relief arrive when we got a shipment of gloves and hot hands body warmers for that evening.  Some church members even loaned out their jackets so we had extra layers as we didn't forecast such cold temps and so much rain!

Next Mr. Gary taught us some knife safety/camping basics tips.  Then all the kids had to find them selves a roasting stick and carve the tip to be pointy.

Their first task with their roasting stick was baking them selves a biscuit over the fire.  This took more patience than some usually like to use, but the most patient ones ended up with the best biscuits and best of all everyone had fun.

Then it was time to go letter boxing.  Mr. Eli stayed back to watch over our fire.  

Our first stop was the Nature Center where the Park Ranger taught us about sugar and technology being all around us in nature.

Then we continued to follow the clues Mrs. Courtney gave us to find the letter box.  And although we found all the spots mentioned in the clues, there was no letter box to be found.  And no my picture taking skills aren't this bad, but yes the fog was this bad.

We hiked back to camp and it was time to start supper.  While the adults started the cooking the kids played, until it was time for them to roast their hotdogs with their roasting sticks they had carved earlier.

By then it was time for the kids favorite: Smores!!

While the adult ladies cleaned up supper and washed dishes, Mr. Gary told scary stories around the campfire and Mr. Eli helped supervise.  Some of the girls opted out of scary stories for a game of go fish in the girls tent.  And that adequately prepared them for bed, I'm sure.  And since they didn't wake up with a bang at 6am I feel safe in saying Old Man Hook (from the scary store) ensured proper behavior... or else...

About 7 we got up and ready for our day.  This was our fun breakfast day.  Check this five star camping meal out!  OMELETS IN A BAG!!!  Add two eggs to zip lock, scramble them, add your toppings, rezip bag getting it as air tight as able, boil about 10 minutes and tada!  We also had (chocolate chip) pancakes, fruit, yogurt, juice and milk.

Then it was time to finish up our camping trip, tear down camp, pack up and hit the road.

Then we were leaving camp, headed back to the school/church

Back at the church we unpacked the trailer and Mrs. Melanie's truck.  Then we had to re-set-up all the tents and canopies and tarps we had use to dry them out.  Luckily by this point it was plenty hot for the job so it didn't take as long as we were afraid it would.

On the way home we stopped at McDonald's for an ice cream cone to cool off with.  It was really a perfect camping trip.  All the small mishaps from the camp site being out of fire wood, to under packing for the unexpected weather, to the missing letter box are really what creates the memories.  Not everything can go as planned.  It is how you react to the new plan that counts!  Everyone left a little more tired, but a lot more happy and full of exciting camp memories.  And then the adult volunteer leaders also got the pleasure of taking home a head cold too ;-)

Our Girly

Writing is my outlet, my relief, my happy place.  All summer I was super extra cautious not to write anything that could be flipped or twisted or could create issues or could rob our kids of happiness.  All summer I have been almost happy.  And yet the elephant is everywhere.  I wanted to blog and chatter and exclaim what great family filled trips we had, and how I survived another work week, and how thankful I am for a loyal hard working supportive husband, and how my kids have the best grandparents, aunts, uncle and cousins and how.....

In stead I wrote nothing.  As our family grew, a piece of my heart was eliminated and it hurts and I won't lie.  I will never in my life understand how adults can use children as chips to one up others.  I know what we did was right and good and was a must and I am still left pondering HOW can I stop loving your kids unconditionally.  It's simple.  I can't.  I won't.  Love should never be able to shut off or be cut off.  So contact or not I love and miss them and now am left to only praying for them.  How can I have financially supported your family too many times, babysat countless times, was fully involved.  And yet you had no issue stopping contact with mine.  Clearly it wasn't an even playing field.  That hurts  Hurts for me, hurts for my children..   How could I have been blind for so long.  How did I not notice or know to step in sooner?  That is the elephant. 

I no longer have contact with a precious two year old and a wonderful 15 year old whom I have always called my niece and nephew.  But the price of having contact wasn't worth it, if it meant a less than safe, happy or proper home for our girly.  In life we will all have to make tough choices.  I'd say this was one of mine, but it wasn't.  We made it in an instant without a second thought.  It was an easy choice that came with a tough result.  Always remember consequences/results come with most decisions, whether good or bad....

 I have always said I'd do anything for my kids, for my nephews and my nieces, for my siblings, for my family, for many kids I love.  I always meant it.  When push came to shove, we honored our word, and sweet (new) child of mine I hope you know you ARE worth it.  You have GREAT value. You are wanted.  You are loved.  Life will rarely be a basket of pansies and butterfly kisses and this was another curve in our road of life.  I have felt broken at times this summer watching you hurt as things were said to you that can't be erased, as promises were made and failed to be held, as you had to grow up faster and decide not what your heart wanted (like being in the same school with the same friends and seeing your siblings every day) but what was safe and good and right for you and your future.  But I've also been given the best gift in getting to love on you all summer and spoil you a little and introduce you to several firsts.
 
I am ecstatic to introduce everyone to our new member, our oldest child, our beautiful, wonderful, funny, sweet, caring, stronger than words can describe daughter Angela.  I made her a promise last year, I kept it again, sadly.  When ever any of my children feel they are in a not safe, not good situation I truly hope they always feel safe in talking to Marko and I and reaching out when you need to, and venting, and sharing, and know we will always love you, always support you, always do our best to protect you and lead you the right direction.  Even when it is hard on you, or me or us.  Even if you are afraid, even if you may have taken a wrong turn.  We are family, we are one.

On August 31st, 2015 the Judge granted us legal and physical custody of you.  Something we have felt all summer, but a piece of paper that safe guards you.  And so now I feel I can write again without fear of typing the wrong thing or offending the wrong person and putting your placement and safety in jeopardy.  I am beyond thrilled to have a third child I never knew I wanted.  I love you girly.  I am so proud of you, your strength, your determination, your honesty, your sweet spirit, YOU.

P.S. Kid you are now stuck in one crazy big loving family!  Consider yourself official and keep indulging, making memories and giggling along the way!  I hope you forever feel you belong, FULLY..... and how have you lived here all summer and Marko and you have been in plenty of pictures but not at the same time.... this will change the day he gets back to town....